GROWING PAINS OR GROWING PLEASURE

I had my babies when I was very young. And I learnt as I grew up with them. There were a lot of things that I did for the very first time. Made mistakes, bore the consequences, rectified them the next time and hoped to pass. I had gotten myself admitted in the school of mothers. And yeah, after so many years I am still waiting for the passing certificate.!!

Yes, it was immediately after my film and though it would have been ideal for me to continue working and balance both work and home as many young women, mothers are doing, I stopped. I do envy them at times being able to handle both worlds but, I remember what Chanda Kochhar said in one of her interviews, there is always a guilt. When you are at work it is for the family and kids at home and when you are at home it is for how much more productive you could have been at work. So I guess then, atleast I am guilt free in one area.

I was recently asked, if I could go back in time would I play out life differently, make different choices whenever I was at crossroads. I guess not. Because , Love still is, the only thing that makes my world go round. There are personal desires that I may have put on the back burner, but I have no regret about the choices I have made. I may have given up signing a million autographs back then, but I did enjoy making my kids geography n science projects late into the night. I may have given a pass to dance on the best choreographed timeless songs but I did enjoy dancing to my little one`s tunes. Simple pleasures that have made me smile, the laughter on my children`s faces has made my life meaningful for me.

Yet, the have been times when I have questioned myself, Am I doing it right? Am I being too strict? Too lenient? It`s not just about being a first time mother, there is a first to everything, to being mother to a boy, to a girl, to a 2yr old, to a 5yr old, to a teen, to an adult. There are situations that sometimes lead to warzones and you wonder how much longer you can cope with the responsibility. There comes a phase when you suddenly feel there is a chasm called a generation gap, which is so wide that you feel everything that you feel connected to has been lost. The same children that made you smile,cloud your thoughts with worry and sometimes even despair. “Growing pains!” you sigh. But why accept what you can change!

Pain is felt when we confront not connect, when we impose and not imbibe, when we ridicule and not reassure. But the onus is not just on the children, we too have to adapt with the changing world. And I try.

I listen,.. close my mouth and open my mind.

Ask questions?.it doesn`t show how dumb you are it just makes you more approachable.

Hear the idea`s.you never know when it`s the password to a new software.

Try it,everything needs to be tested and tasted before making a judgment call.

My kids and their friends love having conversations with me. They range from the AIB roast, to the world political opinion on the ISIS, live in relationships to ideal marriageable age fundas, freedom of speech to whether peaceful marches, protests really have any impact on government policies.

I listen, ask questions so they can speak their mind, hear their ideas on why something works or gets crashed out and reserve my judgement till I am asked. And believe me by the end of the night we all have learnt something from the other. We give them stability and they give us an out of the box perspective.

Either which way the journey becomes pleasurable.

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