A Daughter's Mother

A DAUGHTER’S MOTHER

There is something about having a daughter! She changed my world and then drew me into that special world that I built around her. They called it blind love, pampering and even obsession for a while then they realized it wasn’t what I did but how I felt inside. And how could that ever be questioned. No one can change that, not even her. You begin to see different dreams, feel a stronger heartbeat, hear the unspoken word and find a new way to say “I love you” every day.

My family and friends wondered and voiced their concern as she started growing up. “You can’t be possessive, she needs to become independent, grow into her own person. She will have her own friends, make her own decisions, how will you handle it when she leaves you… first to study and then when she marries. You have to let go.” Yeah, yeah, yeah…they were probably right but I had never curtailed her, held her back or even stopped her ever…all I wanted to do was watch her take her first steps and be there to soften her fall, see her run and clap as she raced ahead, look up and see her fly, and be the wind beneath her wings.

So when she got her scholarship and expressed her desire to go to London, I barely stopped to choke at the lump in my throat as I went about convincing the family, fixing up her visa dates, student accommodation, flight itinerary and then even flew with her to set up her apartment. I just hadn’t been away from her for all of her 17 years of growing up. The overnight school trips that she went for would have me awake through the night…so she never asked for more. But she always knew how lost i would feel without her. So, at the door of her London apartment, as I was leaving to catch my flight back home alone, she kissed me goodbye and softly said, “Be strong Mom, I’m coming back.” And I survived…

From arranging and re arranging her cupboard every day, to sleeping with her blanket, to fuming and festering if she didn’t return my call forgetting that there is a time difference! Between fighting the reality of what everyone had said to the stoic disposition i showed, yes I survived 3 years and I grew up. She came and went back a couple of times and I think she monitored my growth with how much I cried each time I left her at the airport….and slowly I learnt to let go. I would write her a box of notes, (about a 100 each time) that she could open there as and when she thought of me. She had them pinned on her wallboard at her desk, I saw them when she skyped me…it made me smile secretly inside, knowing she too missed me….at least a wee little bit.

She’s back home now, graduated and all set to work. An adult now. “Those notes helped me mom.” She admitted later, “When i was much younger you used to send them in my lunch box when I first started day school…so that I always felt your presence. And in London, they didn’t allow me to miss you Mom, because I knew, no matter where I was you were always with me. And now I think you know that too. There will be friends, even a special person perhaps who will steal my heart but there will be one place that will always be yours. We feel that connect don’t we Mom.” My little baby had grown up…. And it was time I did too.

It’s not that we don’t have our arguments, nor do I agree/approve of everything she does or says. But with all the realism of the changing dynamics of a parent child relationship I have to say, that with daughters….there is a language beyond the spoken word, the commitment beyond what any other relationship can be. We can laugh at the same thing before the joke gets completed, see the sadness, feel the pain without being told….there is a different connect. And I feel blessed to have experienced this overwhelming feeling of being a daughter’s mother.

Slipping through my fingers in the movie, Mama Mia
Slipping through my fingers in the movie, Mama Mia

If I had any apprehensions of questioning this feeling, they were put to rest when I hugged her tight and got her curled up onto my lap, when she said as I painted her nails (like in the song, Slipping through my fingers in the movie, Mama Mia) “Mumma, I hope I can love my children the way you have loved me.”

You have already voted.

64 thoughts on “A DAUGHTER’S MOTHER

  1. Manu Kumar Reply

    My daughter just went to Canada, last fall. And I can connect to every bit of your blog. I wish I had read it before she left. Both, me and my wife were apprehensive to send her, and even now we wonder if it was a good idea. Like your notes, I keep sending her emails, and hope that she can go through them whenever she misses us. One thing is sure, daughters are really lovely !!!

    • Bhagyashree Dassani Post authorReply

      Dear Mr. Manu
      I am happy that you could find connect with my blog. We have to give wings to our children for them to able to pursue their dreams. I hope your daughter achieves all that she has set up to do.

  2. Sowmya Reply

    I’m a mother of two girls aged 1 and 3 and I dread to think of the day when they will leave home in pursuit of their dreams. But after reading your post, I felt that I can get through it however difficult it may seem. Well written post, Ms Bhagyashree 🙂

  3. Cirurgia Plastica Bauru Reply

    I’ve been absent for quite a while, however I remember
    why I used to love this website. Thank you, I will try and check back more frequently.

    Fantastic posts btw.

  4. Cirurgia Plastica Bauru Reply

    This could be the proper blog for everyone who
    desires to be familiar with this topic. You already know much its practically difficult to
    argue along. Excellent stuff, just great!

  5. visit here Reply

    Heya i am for the primary time here. I found this board and I in finding It really
    useful & it helped me out a lot. I am hoping to provide something back and aid others like you aided me.

    • Bhagyashree Dassani Post authorReply

      Super…So do go ahead and share it with your friends…The more people read and get in to my blog..The more it will encourage me to post more and better articles.

  6. ゲイ動画 Reply

    Do you have a spam problem on this blog; I also am a blogger, and I was
    wanting to know your situation; many of us have developed some nice procedures and we are looking to swap solutions with others, why not shoot
    me an email if interested.

  7. Landing Page Platform Reply

    I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was wondering what all is required to get
    set up? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny?

    I’m not very internet savvy so I’m not 100%
    sure. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly
    appreciated. Kudos

  8. Jorja Reply

    This is an excellent web site, could you be interested in doing an interview
    concerning just how you created it? If so e-mail me!

  9. Graig Reply

    This is the kind of information I’ve long
    been searching for. Thank you for posting this information.

  10. Stefan Reply

    This is very worthwhile, you are a very skilled blogger.
    I’ve joined your rss feed and look ahead to reading more of your fantastic post.
    Also, I have shared your site in my social networks!

  11. Katrin Reply

    Your writing talent is actually appreciated!! Thanks. You saved
    me lots of frustration. Amazing post!

  12. buy somatropin Reply

    Keep up the fantastic piece of work, I read few blog
    posts on this website and I believe that your site is
    really fascinating and has lots of excellent information.

  13. hurricane Mop Reply

    Just want to say your article is as amazing. The clarity in your publish is just cool and
    i can think you’re knowledgeable in this subject. Well together with your
    permission allow me to seize your RSS feed to stay updated with coming near near post.
    Thank you one million and please continue the enjoyable work.

  14. avocat ville de quebec Reply

    I’m not that much of a internet reader in truth however your
    site is great, keep writing! I’ll proceed and bookmark your site
    to come back later. The best.

  15. online chat psychics Reply

    I really got into this article. I found it to be interesting and also loaded with
    special points of view. I like to read material which makes
    me think. Thank you for writing this great content.

  16. real tarot reading free Reply

    Admiring the effort and time you put into your website
    and detailed information you present. It’s good to run into a
    blog every once in a while that isn’t the same old spun information. Great article!
    I’ve bookmarked your site as well as I’m
    adding your RSS feeds to my Google account.

  17. free psychic readers Reply

    I’m not that much of a internet reader to tell the truth yet your weblogs are very
    nice, continue the good work! I’ll go ahead as well as bookmark your site
    to return in the future. Good luck

  18. phone psychic reading Reply

    This is my first time to visit here. I found a lot of
    enjoyable stuff in your weblog, specifically in its discussion. I guess I am not the only
    one having all the enjoyment here! Keep up the superb
    work.

  19. phone psychic reading Reply

    Seriously! This could be one of the most useful blogs we’ve discovered about this
    subject. Spectacular. I’m also an expert in this topic so
    I can understand your effort.

  20. phone psychic reading Reply

    I like what you guys are publishing. Such wise work!
    keep on the exceptional works guys I’ve placed you guys to my blogroll.

    I think it will improve the value of my website.

  21. Theo the Theory Reply

    Magnificent beat ! I wish to apprentice while you amend your site, how could i
    subscribe for a blog web site? The account helped me a acceptable deal.
    I had been tiny bit acquainted of this your broadcast offered bright clear idea

  22. kavita Reply

    a beautifully penned down blog Ma’am. i’m not a mother, but a recently married daughter who misses her mother the most.

  23. Sushma Reply

    Really nice bonding between a daughter and mother. I wanted to ask that in the so early age of motherhood, how did you manage your time, space n feelings for kid, self and husband?

  24. Reeta Sharma Reply

    Very nice. Daughters are actually blessing and I am blessed with twins…. You expressed beautifully I can’t but I expressed my love for them in a line… Parinita Paridhi you are my life. LOVE you. God bless you Bhagyashree Ji

  25. shrabanti Reply

    Very nicely articulated ..I have a 3 year old toddler … and I am so very attached to him that I always fear whether I can properly handle the situation when he will grow up to live his own life. I try nurturing my own work, hobbies friends ..only to be prepared for that day..Though that fear never goes…
    After reading your blog.. thinking it is the time which teaches us everything …
    Thanks for always becoming my inspiration as a fitness enthusiastic and now as a mother…Loved your thoughts..

    • Bhagyashree Dassani Post authorReply

      Its a priviledge to be a mother. I truely feel having my children is the best thing that happened to me, enjoy all the moments with them, as these are the ones that become special memories to create the bond of love.

  26. Pam Reply

    What a beautiful way of expressing the special bond between a mother and a daughter. I am blessed with twin girls and there is never a day I don’t thank the Lord for blessing me so richly. My girls are 16 and our relationship has never been more richer, more fulfilling and wonderful. I can’t remember a time when there were any trials or tribulations in raising them. All I can remember is how enriched I felt at every phase in their lives. From those tiny little hands clinging to my legs then to strong arms that reach out to me even today I consider myself truly blessed.

  27. Sanjay Jain Reply

    NOONE CAN EXPRESS IN BETTER WAY AS U DID BHAGYASHREE IN YOUR BLIG ON A DAUGHTERS MOTHER. TO BE A MOTHER OF DAUGHTER IS A GREAT BLESSING OF GOD. YOUR WORLD , SMILE , LIFE ,THOUGHTS , NATURE, CHANGES WHEN U HAVE A DAUGHTER, NOONE CAN GIVE LOVE AND CARE AS MUCH A MOTHER CAN GIVE. DAUGHTER CAN MANAGE WITHOUT FATHER FOR A MOMENT , BUT NOT WITHOUT MOTHER, MOTHER IS THE ONLY ONE WITH WHOM A DAUGHTER CAN LIVE HIS CHILDHOOD WITH FULL ENERGY AND FUN, ALL SMALL DEMANDS REQUIREMENTS NEEDS ARE EASYILY FULLFILLED BY MOTHER FOR DAUGHTER, NOONE CAN BREAK THIS BOND OF RELATIONSHIP IN THE WORLD. DAUGHTER MAY REACH AT THE HIGHER LEVEL AT HIGHER STATUS BY HIGHER EDUCATION , BUT WITHOUT MOTHER SHE WILL NOT LIKE TO REACH ANY DESTINATION. MOTHER AND DAUGHTER ARE THE BREATHEVOF EACH OTHER, THEY WILL ENJOY EVERY MOMENT IN EVERY WEATHER, MOTHER IS LIKE SKY AND DAUGHTERS ARE LIKE STAR, THEY CAN NEVER STAY AWAY OR FAR. MOTHER IS LIKE OCEAN AND DAUGHTER OR LIKE WAVES , NOONE CAN SUBSTITUTE THEIR PLACE. THIS RELATION IS THE BEST BLESSING OF GOD ON EARTH, THAT MAKES THE WORLD WORTH. GOOD WRITEUP BHAGYASHREE.

  28. SNEHADAS Reply

    IT’S A SPCL BOND THAT SPANS THE YEARS,THROUGH LAUGHTER,WORRY,SMILES,& TEARS.A SENSE OF TRUST THAT CAN’T BE BROKEN,A DEPTH OF LOVE SOMETIMES UNSPOKEN,A LIFELONG FRIENDSHIP BUILT ON SHARING,HUGS & KISSES, WARMTH & CARING,MOM & DAUGHTER THEIR HEARTS AS ONE,A LINK THAT CAN NEVER BE UNDONE! WANT A SWEET BLOG WITH YOUR SON- HUBBY & FAMILY… VERY IMOTIONAL BLOG FOR ME. THNX A LOT! KEEP IT UP. LIKE YOUR THOUGHTS!

Leave a Reply