I wasn`t one of those stronger women that I often admired, brilliantly managing their houses and career, always looking as if they walked out of a Vogue shoot. Most of the time I fueled my day with sheer will-power as most of us women, working or homemakers do. Pains, aches, worries all delegated to the background as we march on making our house a home, trying hard to make life perfect for our family and an emotional haven for our children. So, the trigger to my journey was unexpected but the jolt I required.
Sometimes I would be physically drained trying to balance the house demands with 8hrs of shoot of several costume changes and emotional scenes to enact. While at times a tiff with a loved one would make me an emotional wreck as I would have to force focus on more everyday drudge issues at hand.
Really??? You will ask, “I thought Bhagyashree`s life was easy.” Well….. it is. But I had skewed up trying to give everything equal importance at all times, trying to please everyone. But it took that one experience for me to actually begin to re-align my priorities.”ME”… I was the priority that I had conveniently forgotten, the battery was running out and fuel was on an all-time low. That`s when it happened.
It was about 2am in the morning when I woke up in a silent scream, tears rolling down my cheeks, it took me 5 seconds to realize it wasn`t a dream. I couldn`t move my right hand at all, I felt as if a sword had been embedded in my shoulder and was being swiveled slowly, deeper and deeper. The pain was excruciating to say the least. Alone in my bed, (my hubby out of the country), I decided the most practical thing to do in the middle of the night. I quickly downed 2 combiflams in 2 consecutive hours, in the hope that they would subside the pain. My entire body was in spasm, I massaged my entire body with a pain relieving deep heat cream and burrowed under 3 blankets, trying to control the stream of tears, which would have put the best of saas-bahu dramas to shame.
It was only around 6pm in the evening, that my hubby reached home and drove me to Dr.Sanjay Garude at Lilavati. “I don`t know how she is standing straight faced.?” he said. “This looks like an acute calcification of the shoulder. The pain is comparable to a heart attack and delivery pains together twice over.” The next 2 days were a series of CT Scans, x-rays and investigations with different doctors, shock wave therapy and even needling which had them insert a thick needle into my shoulder to burst the calcification….but none succeeded. “It`s almost a 7 year old calcification, it`s so hard that it has adjoined itself to the bone, surgery is the only solution”, they said as they sent me home with a steroid shot to numb the pain. “Did you not feel the pain for 7 years?”
I went blank but the trigger to my journey had begun.