Why do men always want what they don’t have, and don’t like what they have? Here I am, trying to decipher an answer to a question that remains unanswered down centuries. Another man’s house, car and wife always seem better, more interesting than what you have. The grass is greener on the other side couldn’t hold more true than for this sentence here.
So, every time my husband showed me how another woman was prettier, more proficient or empowered in a particular area I made it a point to note it down. No malice here mind you…just the definite will to introspect on what I could do to if I wanted a 10/10. The point here was however that though many scored far greater than I did in each individual area, the markers went substantially down when seen as a complete package.
Over the years I could proudly say that I would be able to identify the perfect woman/wife that my husband wanted if I came across her. I had managed to list down all the qualities that made her his ideal choice. I probably knew her more closely than he did. Reason of that was pretty obvious, he thought of her only when I fell short of his expectations in that area, but she could never bring consistency in his thoughts ‘cause she kept changing. Her only identification in his mind was that she was better than me…much better. I wondered though, if he could picture her with that clarity as I could…and so began my search. The search for a perfect wife for my husband.
1. The better cook: Since ‘Ma ke haath ke khaane ki barabari” is pretty passé. She is what they say a perfect connoisseur of gourmet dishes. She has put in those valuable hours to learn and whip up every dish he enjoys. Not only does she know his taste-buds but also knows when they act up without the slightest intimation. That makes her a mind-reader too..but that’s another attribute.
2. The mind reader: She knows when he wants, what he wants, how he wants, what to say, what not to say. She just knows! Without being told.
3. The better homemaker: She can run the home with the ease, finesse and skill that matches a CEO signing cheques. No sweat, no noise, no disruptions, just the smoothness of the ink gliding on the sheet of paper. Okay! Perhaps that was too OTT. Let me say, the house would never run out of any grocery, the sheets would always be “Rin ki chamakdar” waale white or let’s just say Dr.White himself does her laundry. The glass wear would never break or if it did, would be replaced before the next serving. The array of shampoos, conditioners, soaps and scrubs in the bathroom would put the BodyShop display line to shame. The skill of training the household help was paramount, communication without words. She didn’t need to tell the house-help anything, they all understood either sign language or a look from her was enough.
4. A better groomed woman: She managed to do all of the above without ever chipping her nail polish, having a bad hair day, acne, creased clothes, furrowed forehead or smudging her make up. Wow! This one actually made me think, “Is she for real?” But come on’ she did a damned good job of presenting that visual!
5. A better professionally accomplished woman: This one I called the super star. She could do all of the above and yet pay attention and succeed at her own profession. What is it that they say really works lately….. “Manifestation!” Day dreaming about a reality that becomes the reality. I’m sure that’s how she gets her work done. She’s got that fairy Godmother with a magic wand like Cinderella did. Only this one wasn’t for the glass slippers, it was either how she ran the home or she managed her profession.
6. A better conversationalist: I have yet to put my head around this one. She could have a conversation where he was actually listening, to her opinions on varied subjects, where he actually claimed to have equal or lesser knowledge about. Sometimes I wondered if it was what came out of her mouth or just her mouth that was interesting.
7. A better host: She would be able to put together a great party/dinner with full spread of best cuisines, have the house decorated with flowers and the works all within ‘budget’ prices. I was so sure it was her boyfriend’s catering that made it possible but who’s to judge!
8. The ever enthusiast party buddy: My husband enjoys partying and how! He can stay up 3 nights in a row till 3 am in the morning and not bat an eyelid. So I got to hand it to her to be able to match him drink for drink and 3 nights back to back. For this one, honestly, I bow low. I need my comforter and bed after one night of revelry.
9. The model mother: She is a magician indeed who can bring up kids who do no wrong, don’t argue at all, have impeccable manners, help around the house, are over-zealous to do everything that dad says. Wow! Either that or she is an accomplished hypnotist who can make you believe whatever she wants you to believe.
10. The cat and the cow: She can turn up the heat in the bedroom soon after helping the kids with their homework, clearing the after dinner kitchen at a snap of the finger. She can look after his family complete with their traditions, weddings, funerals, births, and more. Yet be the super model with the explicit figure, well groomed, manicured, smelling straight out of the spa and have scented candles and music ready before he enters the bedroom. Well, isn’t this stuff that fairy tales are made of !!
Since I could not raise my standards to reach all of the obvious goals. I then conscientiously embarked upon the search to find this ultimate woman for the love of my dear husband. However, I regret to say that my quest was futile, which brings me to the reason why I am sharing this with you all. I know many would think of it as a bizarre expedition, but if there is someone out there, she should come and claim her evergreen paramour. The waning years may have blurred his vision a bit, as may have the disillusionment of never getting to even see her. Yet, for my husband, as long as there is the sun, moon skies and the earth, eternal hope lives on I know.