There’s a trend out there to not be in a relationship or be in a relationship for the wrong reasons. Shouldn’t it be easy and we should just know or should we work towards reaching there day in day out with our significant other? You know a true relationship isn’t all rainbows and butterflies there are a lot of ups and downs and a lot of smiles and frowns.
Sometimes it’s a rush, sometimes it’s a process. Sometimes in life someone comes across at a time you never imagined. Maybe you see it instantly when they sweep you off your feet maybe it grows on you when they stand holding the umbrella just incase you need it. But that person is someone you feel like opening up to, whether it’s telling them about the little joys in your day that made you smile and / or venting out the biggest problems that you’ve suffered through your journey. When they say your partner should be like your best friend, this is what they mean.
You know that feeling when you rather leave a buzzing party to go back and do absolutely nothing with them but just be? That feeling when they are laughing in your arms, that hug so cosy you feel like you’re home. When you want to involve them in random parts of our life. For their acknowledgment, maybe to impress them, maybe cause you value their insight not necessarily on the matter but into you. When you know you can call them up at 4:00am they’d rush to have your back no matter what. When they see who you truly are and they help you grow. Not change you but make you want to become a better version of yourself.
Dare I say you might have found the one. What do you do then? Things just work out – you love them, they love you and together go on to live happily every after. NO, let me stop you right there.
This isn’t math, it isn’t a music video or a movie – this is real life. This world won’t let it. You won’t let it. The experiences in your life have programmed you to think and react in a certain way. The timing wont be right. You’ll second guess it… a million times. You might even sabotage it in your head to prove to yourself that isn’t / wasn’t all that right. Well let me tell you a little truth. It’s not going to be just right. It’s not supposed to be. Staying healthy takes work, doesn’t it, then even having a healthy relationship would right !?
Don’t get into one cause you’re lonely, To prove something to yourself or to anyone in the world, and please don’t do it cause well, it’s convenient (You know what I mean). And don’t run away from it cause of your fears.
They aren’t the ones who hurt you, are they ? But they are the ones willing to make the effort to climb over / dig under all those walls your past has created. They are here to ease you to be yourself to believe in yourself.
Everyone says communication is key. They say it for a reason, don’t they. Take a breath put your pride / ego / arrogance aside, let your soul do the rest. Make honesty, trust, understanding and compassion the building blocks the very foundation of your relationship. Having common interests is amazing – food, music, travel or career, but do you mutually agree to look at a similar future ? Write down individually what characteristics you want your ideal soul mate to have and then write down things you did wrong last time around. Now let it all go.
Don’t try and go back to how things were create the new. Even if you are rebuilding your relationships accept the fact that you are growing. Don’t fall for the trap to go back to the same feeling. If we don’t let go of someone’s past and if we can’t let go of our’s, how can we build a future? Share what’s going wrong, share how you can make it better. Act on it. And when you know they fit, It’s time to become a team, sometimes they’ll lift you and sometimes you’ll have to lift them up.
Stop. Think. Talk. Listen.
It takes openness, it takes vulnerability. So be proactive, be honest and be kind. Admit when you’re wrong and tell them when they are right. Sometimes they are. “It’s us against the problem” you truly win when you win together. Remember that. You’re a team. Don’t I always say team work makes the dream work. Spend time with each other, make that effort. Two minds, two lives – show each other that you care – make them feel valuable and show each other this is important to you.
Let Passion Persistence and Patience be your guide. Don’t let go of love. Hold on to that moment called Now. Live it with enthusiasm, feel it with love and fill it with enjoyment. Will it be tough yes but nothing worth having comes easy. You might even have to fight for it. Will you fight for it, I know I will.
It will calm your insecurities, it will make you genuinely happy, it will make you feel safe, it will make you feel invincible, it will make you grateful and it will make you selfless. It will make you grow. It will make you believe. Love is arguably the best motivation you can have for the rest of your life, please don’t let go.
Please give love a chance.